I’ve always said that as long as pop culture and the media exist, I will never run out of things to write about. Some weeks the media just spoon feeds me treasures that make this endeavor too easy.
I’d like to come right out of the gate with two of my favorite headlines this week:
1. Taste Test. Is Mexican Coke Better? I’d like to meet the wise-ass who penned this feature, because the author (listed as “Serious Eats”) could have easily chosen “Does Mexican Coca-Cola taste better” or “Do Mexican Soft-Drinks taste better,” but no. Serious Eats went straight for the double-entendre, which made my whole week. Cheers to Not-So-Serious-Eats.
2. Breaking News- Kardashians Mocked. Uh, this is not breaking news. The Kardashians are mocked in millions of American households every week, and by Saturday Night Live. Everyone wants to know why the Kardashians are famous. It’s not because Kim Kardashian was once friends with Paris Hilton (also famous initially for doing nothing but having a last name with brand recognition), or for Kim’s sex tape or because the Kardashian’s father represented O.J. Simpson. It’s also not because of Kim’s freakishly large ass. It’s because they are so fun to mock. These news anchors just happened to get caught on tape doing what all of us do. Check it out on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCs1Q565E4g
The media sluts who I wrote about last week did me a solid and kept running off at the mouth THIS week. If it pleases the court:
1. Madonna issues sarcastic un-apology for rude behavior. Madonna should leave sarcasm to the professionals. She has a gift for staying in the headlines with absolutely nothing to contribute to society (other than fodder for folks like me), but sarcasm is not her thing. If Madge is reading this, let me help. See, there are different degrees of sarcasm. For example, mild sarcasm sounds like this: “Yeah, Madonna is still relevant.” This type of sarcasm is typically followed up by a Mike Meyers-like ‘NOT.’ The sarcasm expressed in the “apology” video isn’t sarcasm so much as it is misplaced bitchiness. No one really gives a rip if Madonna likes hydrangeas, roses, tulips, poppies, etc. MAYBE if someone is attending a party and a trivia games asks “What is Madonna’s least favorite flower,” then this information is useful. The point, if there is one, is Madonna’s apology should have been sincere, or at least funny, and should have been directed at the thoughtful fan who brought her the flowers in the first place.
2. Charlie Sheen can’t really explain what happened last spring when he lost a lucrative television contract and was rambling on about “tiger blood” and “winning.” Sheen further touts that he was sober during this time. Just how naïve does he think the American public is? Let’s just say that Charlie Sheen was acting as though he took ‘Serious Eat’s’ taste test challenge on whether or not Mexican Coke is better (see above). And if he wasn’t strung out on a cocktail of mind-altering drugs, that’s even MORE disturbing. Rational, well-adjusted people don’t issue twitchy, ill-logical rants on TV and radio. Isn’t it better to just say, “I was lit up like the 4th,” and be done with it?
I’ll wrap up this week’s Flop Culture review by admitting my latest girl crush is Kirstie Alley. How can you not love a woman who starred in a show about herself titled, "Fat Actress." But look at her now! She is 60, has shed a lot of weight and unlike the aforementioned Madonna, still looks more like herself and less like The Joker.
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